A Quiet Funeral What to do first

Details
Footsteps
A Humanist view
Trust?
What to do?
Probate Office
Comment

Of mice & men
Funeral Director
Driver/Bearer
Vehicle prep
Are they qualified?
The Company
Does it matter?

Snippets
Press cuttings
Things we say
A funny thing
How long?
Value for money?
Do it yourself
Come again?
A - Z
Links
Web Search

What to first - before calling the men in black

If you are responsible for making the actual funeral arrangements, assisting someone to do so or just planning ahead, then you must first consider several points.

• Try and be practical. You are probably at a low emotional ebb and are as such, extremely susceptible to a subtle sales pitch - you won't even know it's happening.
• Discuss the matter BEFORE you make that call. You should decide on who, what, where and how the events are to happen - or at least try and agree on what you don't want.
• Most people don't realise that the funeral doesn't always have to take place with any degree of urgency. If you want to take your time before coming to any final decisions, then do so. If you want the funeral to happen in two weeks rather then four days, then tell the funeral director what you want.
• You really don't have to have a religious ceremony. If you would like to take the service yourself or have friends and family speak, you can do it. Most funeral directors will know someone that can give non specific services - you only have to ask.
• Too often, your first encounter will be on the sad occasion of an unexpected death. The funeral director that attends the home to remove the deceased is most frequently the one that will be used to arrange and conduct the funeral. This is not a given. If you wish to deal with a different company then you are quite at liberty to do so and you can still change your mind right up to the last moment.
• You should decide whether there is to be a cremation or a burial.
• If a burial, where is it to take place? Is there a family grave that can be used or will you need a new one? If an existing grave is chosen, then you will need to know who was last interred and when, who owns the site and, most importantly, who holds any legal documentation.
• If a cremation, you also have to consider what to do with the remains after the funeral - scatter them at a special place or inter them in an existing grave, for example.
• You have to decide on a setting for the funeral ceremony - church, chapel, open air, funeral home or even your own residence.
• You may want to consider the selection of music or hymns for the funeral service and whether to have a printed service sheet.
• How many funeral cars will you want? They usually seat six adults in comfort - and seven if they've all been introduced. Will you want the cortege to come to your home or to travel via a certain route, perhaps pausing at a particular spot?
• Make sure that you have all the facts that you will require to complete the arrangements. You will need to know the full name, age, date of birth, date and place of death, address, next of kin of the deceased. Who registers the death? Who gets the account etc.
• Choose your funeral director by their good reputation. If you've heard poor reports, then why take a chance yourself? Even if their premises don't suit you, take your business elsewhere.
• If you have time and are able to do so, you must try to arrange to "audition" any organists or soloists that may be "performing" at your ceremony. You'd be amazed at the varying quality of "talent" just waiting to ruin a well planned event with a jarring note.
• You really must be able to stand back from the aura of the black suit and realise that they are working for you. You enter into a business agreement/contract with them and until it's completed to your satisfaction, they have not fulfilled their part of that contract.
• If you have never seen the funeral director "in action" it may well be worthwhile to make a few inquiries or even attend one of their funerals - great show is made, in certain cases, of top hats, canes and other "stage props". You are not paying for a variety act, just a quiet, dignified service - unless....that actually is what you want? 

When the funeral director does arrive or you attend the funeral premises, your having already decided on these issues will make the whole process much easier for all those involved; you will reduce the time needed with the funeral director and will have had a greater personal involvement in making the arrangements.

Top  
select a topic
Go to.... Useful Addresses What to Do First Non Religious Services Before it Happens How to Save a Fortune How to Complain Footsteps with Revd John A Humanist Funeral The Probate Office Can we Trust them? Comment A personal funeral The funeral director Driver/Bearer Vehicle Preparation Are they Qualified The Company Does it Matter? Samples from the Press Things we Say Humour How Long Does it Take What do you get for your money? Would You Go Back? Do it Yourself? Links Lycos Yahoo Excite Google Webcrawler Web Searching

Rev Pravisani

Natural Death Centre

Email

The disclaimer bit

Persons acting upon information gained from these pages or personal contact do so at their own risk. No responsibility is accepted for the accuracy of any information contained herein.