Above: Sometimes, when chairs get drunk, they think they can fly. Hence, this chair is standing on a window-sill, wondering whether to take the plunge. I eventually persuaded her (against my better judgement, I must admit), to come down and stop being such a berk.
Oh, yes, they like to have a laugh, but on their own terms. Hanging around at the Market Cross, drinking lager and spitting on passers-by; queuing up outside Thursday's one hour before opening time and making fun of the Bouncers; joy-riding in a shopping-trolley down College Lane; hijacking double-decker buses and forcing them to drive to Selsey. You name it, they've done it.
Unless it's playing Dominoes, that is. Or sitting sedately on the lawn outside the Festival Theatre. Or writing to the Chichester Observer to complain about the upsurge of dog poo on the otherwise "simply marvellous" beaches of Witterings.
Yes, come to think of it, there are quite a lot of things they haven't done, those Chairs. But, by and large, it's true: they do just wanna have fun. Watch out for them. They're in your area.
